It's a Choice

S went into the play place at Chick-Fil-A all by herself (which I hate to do but I was feeding L). All of a sudden I look and see her crying, trying to come back down the playscape. She was crying so loud that all of the kids cleared a way for her and stared at her (and it’s loud in there!). I ran in and picked her up. Another mom was in there asking her what happened and S said that a little girl kicked her in the stomach! The mom said she thought it may have been her daughter b/c “she’d been bullying kids by the slide.” She kept calling for her to come down but the girl never did. Eventually the mom left and I could see she wasn’t going to bring her daughter down to apologize, so I brought S back to our table and talked to her in my lap while she finished her ice cream. 

S said she felt sad because the girl kicked her and she asked me why she kicked her (break my heart!). By this point the little girl had come down and S pointed her out to me - it was that woman’s little girl. She asked me why she wasn’t saying that she was sorry. Everything in my Momma Bear’s heart wanted to bring that girl over and talk to her and ask her to apologize because it was so unfair to S! But God reminded me that I won’t always be there to fix it or make it better for S, so how can I use this situation to prepare her for life?

I looked S in the eyes and I said, “You know what, Baby? Sometimes people do things that hurt us and make us sad and they don’t say that they’re sorry even though they should. Maybe because they are struggling or they’re making a bad choice, but do you know what’s amazing?!” “What?!” She said with a big smile and ice cream on her nose. “Jesus CHOSE to forgive us - even though we had hurt Him and made Him sad by going our own way instead of His, and we hadn’t even said that were were sorry. But He CHOSE to forgive us anyway! And He can help us to do the same thing! Isn’t that awesome?!” “Yeah,” she said, “Momma, is she still here?” “Yes, she’s getting ice cream over there, why?” “I want to tell her that I forgive her.”

The mom, her baby and the little girl were heading towards the door and so I waved them over and said to the mom, “We are working on forgiveness and she told me that your daughter did kick her in the stomach. And I know, it’s so hard because you’re not up there and don’t know what’s going on and maybe your daughter was struggling, but she’s been asking me why she’s not saying she’s sorry and so I told her that we can still forgive people even when they don’t say ‘I’m sorry’.” “Absolutely!” the mom agreed. “So she wanted to talk to her if that’s ok?” The mom said, “Of course!” and S looked at the little girl and said, “I fuh-give you fuh kickin’ me.” The mom said, “What do you say? Say you’re sorry!” but the little girl just hid behind her mom. The mom shrugged and said, “We’re working on saying I’m sorry! Yeah it’s so hard because I feel like I can’t get up there and with two little ones...well, you know! Thanks for taking this so well.”

I smiled and nodded and told her to have a good day. Then I sat there holding and kissing S in my lap and squeezing a baby food pouch into L’s mouth, choking back tears. I just kept saying, “I’m so proud of you, S! I’m SO proud of you!”

I cried as I drove home and God brought to mind people in my life who have hurt me or my family and have never apologized. What they've done is hurtful but even more than that is the fact that they won't apologize for it. I've never been able to get over that hurdle of hurt and "fairness"...until now - it's a choice. Praise Jesus for the Cross and my 3 year old!!!