A Birthday Letter to My Little S!

My sweet Little S,

Today you turned one - how can it be? This time last year I held you in my arms for the first time and cried tears of joy while you held onto my finger. You were and still are perfect - exactly how God wanted you to be and more than your Daddy or I could have imagined! This time last year you, your Daddy and I, and so many sweet family members were crowded into a hospital room “oohing” and “ahhing” over you while you slept with your sweet face against my chest...heaven. 

I remember about a week before you were born watching your elbow rub across my tummy - now your elbows have the sweetest little dimples in them! You are so full of joy and bring us so much joy too. Wherever we go you say “Hi” to every person that we pass - you seem to make people’s day with just one word and a gummy smile (you still only have one little tooth, bless your heart). You love to stand at the window in the playroom and watch the world go by and say “woof, woof” hoping to see the dog across the street come outside. Your favorite song right now is “Rock, rock, rock, rock...Rock a little Susu...I love you.” We sing it to you when you’re in the swing or on the rocking chair so whenever you see one of those or whenever you just think of it throughout the day you sing, “ya, ya, ya, ya...” and your Daddy and I look at each other and smile - we LOVE hearing you sing. You are such a little love-bug. You’ll just randomly run up to me or your Daddy and give us hugs or nuzzle your face into our necks. It. Is.The. Best!

So much has changed throughout this first year of your life and God has worked in your life and ours in amazing ways. When you were two months old you started to refuse to eat. It broke my heart to see you so sad and hungry and yet choose not to eat. I would watch your monitor so closely so that as soon as you woke up I could run in and feed you before you came out of your groggy state - it was the only way you would eat. We prayed and prayed for you to get better. The doctors figured out that you had an intolerance to cow’s milk so I went on a dairy-free and soy-free diet. You were still sad and in so much pain after you ate so we found a formula that worked and within a few days you were back to your old self. We praised God.

When you were four months old your doctor noticed that your hips weren’t exactly right. Your legs would lay at a 90 degree angle from your side so they sent me to get x-rays. Your hip was underdeveloped and so we prayed and they followed you for the next few months. When we came back for a follow-up appointment they said you were doing great and everything was looking normal. We praised God.

At this same time the doctor noticed that you were more flexible than most babies and a little “floppy” as they said. You still had trouble holding your head up at four months and they determined that you had "low muscle tone". So they gave me the phone number for a physical therapist and she started coming to our house twice a month to work with you. We set a goal when we first started and hoped that by April (around your first birthday) you would be walking well enough to enjoy an Easter-egg hunt with your cousins.We prayed and prayed. Every time she came she would talk about how amazing you were doing. Your birthday party is tomorrow and you will literally be running around with your cousins. We praise God.

Around nine months the doctor told us to start slowly introducing dairy products to see how you would react to them. I was so nervous and didn’t want to put you through all the pain you went through earlier in your life. We prayed and prayed. Your eat cheese, yogurt, and dairy-based formula every day and LOVE it! We praise God.

I sometimes sing you a little song that I wrote for you. The words are:

“Sweet baby of mine,

You have my heart.

Sweet baby of mine,

From the very start.

God has lent you to me,

And I’m so thankful to Him.

Sweet baby of mine,

Baby of mine.”

Every night after you finish your bottle you snuggle your face onto my shoulder and I rock with you and pray. I thank God for your life, for giving us the time that He has given us up until this point. I pray that you will come to know Him at a young age and walk with Him all the days of your life. I pray that you will love His Word and love spending time with Him daily. I pray that you will find your worth in Him and Him alone. I pray for protection from evil. I pray that you will be a leader at school and among your friends; that people will be drawn to you because of the way you love Jesus. I pray that you will love telling others about Him. I pray for your friends who you may grow up with - Lily, Kate, Raelyn, Natalie, and Nora that they would come to know Jesus at a young age too. I pray the same for your future husband and that from a young age God would provide a godly man in his life to point him towards Christ and show him what it means to be a man of character and how to love a woman the way that God intends for him to. I pray that God will protect both of you from sexual sin - that He would protect your eyes and your bodies and that you will save yourselves for each other. I pray for your children and your children’s children and all generations after you - that they will know Jesus and leave a legacy that glorifies Him. And I beg God that He would be glorified in your life and/or your death. Then while you’re in my arms I open up my hands and usually fight back tears and tell God that you are His - that you belong wholly to Him; you are not mine to hold onto. Then I thank Him again for allowing us to be your parents. Then I tell you it’s time to go to sleep and that I love you so very much and sway with you for a little while before laying you down in your crib. It’s probably my favorite time of the day.

I am humbled by the gift that He has give us in you and I lay you at His feet, sweet child.

Love,

Your adoring Momma

Happy Father's Day!

My Handsome - 

I have so been looking forward to this day so that Little S and I can celebrate you! Where do I even begin? I want so badly to communicate everything you mean to us and I'm so afraid I won't do my feelings justice but I'll give it a shot: 

You are our hero, our knight in shining armor. Your day starts very early with you rolling out of bed to give Little S her pacifier when it's dropped out and she has woken up or with you holding and playing with her so that I can get a little more sleep. You then get ready for work and you drive all the way down to KY (at least 45 min) to a job that you don't particularly enjoy. You work all day, often putting in over-time and almost always exceeding the goals they give you even though it drains you. You do this because you firmly believe that whatever you do, do it with all your heart to please the Lord. You also do it so that I can stay home with our daughter and for that I am eternally grateful. After work you drive back home and although you're exhausted, you can barely contain yourself to see Little S. As soon as you see her, you tell her how beautiful she is and how much you love her and missed her while you were at work. She adores you - she may not be able to express it in words yet, but being with her all day I know the way she looks at you, the way she coos and kicks her legs like crazy for you, you are her first love and I am so thankful that she has a daddy that is determined to give her the verbal affirmation and all the hugs and kisses that she can handle so that, as you say, "when she gets older she won't need to go out looking to have that need met by boys" as so many young girls do. After you get your snuggle time in with Little S we usually sit down for dinner and you ask me how my day was and listen as I tell you about all of our highs and lows, the things I worry about and the cute things that Little S did and help me to process all of my crazy, post-pardom, hormonal feelings:) Then many nights you go get changed into your old housework clothes and paint, rip up flooring, or whatever else needs to get done in our house so that Little S and I have a safe, healthy home to spend our days in (currently you're working on, as you say, "getting me my kitchen", and you are doing such an amazing job!). Then you come up to bed, call me beautiful, tell me that you love me, pray for us, and kiss me goodnight. You serve and love our little family so well - I am so undeserving.

You, my Handsome, are a man with more character and integrity than I have ever seen. You pursue purity, having only eyes for me, and help other men to do the same in their own lives. What more could a wife ask for? You love Jesus and so badly want people all over the world to know and love the God you serve and to experience the freedom and joy that you have found in Him. I could not be more thankful for the man that you are and I still cannot believe the Lord allowed me to marry you (or that you wanted to marry me, even after I told you I'd never date you 3 times!). Thank you for fighting for me and for the way you continue to fight for our family. I am head-over-heals in love with you and I am so thankful that Little S has an earthly father that will so remind her of her Heavenly Father and how He loves us so unconditionally and fights to protect us.We are beyond blessed to have you. Thank you for all that you are, we love you more than you can imagine. Happy Father's Day!

Little S Enters the World!

Oh my word, has it really been SEVEN months since the last time I blogged?! For goodness sake, the whole reason I started blogging was because I wanted to document my journey into/through motherhood, and here I am with a 2 month old and nothing to show for it...bless my heart!

I guess I should start with her birth story. It’s been two months but I’ll do my best to remember all of the details:

I was due Thursday, March 31st and although K and I were ready (as well as my sweet parents who drove from Maryland and got in on Friday, April 1st), our little girl, was pretty comfortable and in no rush to leave her cozy spot. I went into the doctor for an appointment and so that they could run some tests to make sure she was doing fine, on Tuesday, April 5th. They did an ultrasound and saw that her movement was not what they were hoping to see and she ended up scoring a 2 out of 8 on her tests, so when the dr. came in the room she said, “Well, you failed!” I had no idea what she meant by that, until she followed it up with, “You’re going to have a baby today or tomorrow.”

I know I had 9 months to prepare and even a week AFTER my due date to get geared up to meet this sweet baby, but I guess nothing really prepares you for when it really happens! I was so thankful that my mom was with me because after that point I heard nothing. My face turned bright red, my heart started pounding and my ability to comprehend a word she said went out the window...along with how I’d always imagined it happening: you know, it’s 2 in the morning, my contractions start getting stronger as K is timing them (by the way, my sweet husband started wearing a watch which he never does, a few weeks before her due date and when I noticed and asked why, he said so that he’d be prepared when he needed to start timing my contractions! I love what a planner I married - I need him to balance me out:) but back to my vision...), we’d pack up our toiletries, take a quick “we’re going to the hospital!” picture, and we’d be off - me huffing and puffing trying to breath through my contractions, and K speeding down the highway and telling me, “we’re almost there!”. 

So sitting in a doctor’s office hearing that we needed to go next door to the hospital and that I’d have the baby sometime tonight or tomorrow, was not what I envisioned. They said since she was overdue and did so poorly on her tests, that they’d need to induce me and although I preferred not to be induced, when it came to her health and safety, I was more than fine with that! So I called K at work and waited 20 looong minutes for him to call me back (apparently since I didn’t leave a message he didn’t think it was too important, but of course I didn’t leave a message - what would I say, “Hey Babe, it’s me. Just wanted to let you know that we’ll be having that baby tonight or tomorrow. If you want to meet me at the hospital at some point today, I’ll see you there. Love you!”) 

So K left work and my parents and I went and got lunch at the Pancake House. I’ve never been there before but I figured, if this is my last meal for a while, I want some chocolate chip pancakes!! We met hubs over at the hospital after that and he and I went and signed in, where they told us that our “room wasn’t ready yet” and asked us to wait in the waiting room. We sat for an hour kind of in a daze, joking about how we felt like we were checking into a hotel, not waiting to have a baby! But they got us all settled in our room and around 4:30pm they gave me cervidil which needed to be in me for 12 hours before they gave me the pitocin to induce labor. So K and I hung out and watched TV and things felt perfectly normal until around midnight when the contractions started. They got stronger and stronger over the next 4 hours and around 4:30am they started the pitocin. At this point I think I was only a couple of centimeters dialated and they made it pretty clear that I couldn’t have the epidural until I was at least 4 or 5. Around 7am I asked again because they were so intense, and they reminded me but said they’d check how far along I was to be sure. Sure enough, I was at 5 centimeters so they called the anesthesiologist and she came in and made life WONDERFUL! Oh my word, I’m so proud of my friends who deliver their babies naturally but man, epidurals are seriously a beautiful thing! We spent the next few hours sleeping and talking about what was about to happen, trying to process it all. Then around 11:30 the nurse checked me and said I was ready to push. The doctor wasn’t even in there but she said she was finishing up a c-section and that she’d be here in a bit and that in the mean time I could just start pushing. So at 11:50 I started pushing, the doctor came in a few minutes later, and by 12:05pm we had a beautiful, healthy baby girl in our arms! I could not believe it, every moment was incredible! How could it have been this easy?! But as I sat there with tears streaming down my face staring into the eyes of our little girl - I was overwhelmed by how immeasurably more than all I could ask for or imagine this sweet gift from the Lord was!

Little S is our daily reminder of how good God is, and how much he blesses us far more than we deserve. She is such a little joy and we fall more and more in love with her every day!

2 become 3!

New England in the Fall

So it’s official - I’m just as bad of a blogger as I thought I would be...but in my defense we have had a crazy month and a half! I promise I will try to be better!!

So I thought I’d share a little of what we’ve been up to (hunker down 'cause this is going to be a long one)! Last year my big brother suggested that my whole family journey back to the old homestead in Connecticut where we grew up. He suggested we do it around Columbus Day weekend since both his and my Dad’s birthdays are around that time and it’d be a perfect time to enjoy New England in the fall. So we all got geared up and excited only to find out that the Marines needed him in Afghanistan during that time. Praise God that Brother is back safe and sound now, but that was a LOOONG six months! Well when October came around this year we were all so excited to make it happen...and happen it did! Oh my word, it was only 3 short days but it was such sweet family time - going back to all of our favorite places and hanging out together, laughing...there are few other places in this world that I’d rather be (if any) than laughing with my whole family! Here are some snap shots of our time in CT:

First stop - Flamig Farm! Blimp, AJ, and JM (far right) all came prepared with their "backwards EGGS" shirts but the rest of us had to buy ours so we could fit in. I left mine at home so we bought one for the little one!

(p.s. don't be alarmed that I call my skinny-minny sister "Blimp(y)" it's a long story!)

What a little pun'kin!!

Next stop: The Master's School (my old school), where we spent a half an hour acting like we were in fourth grade..it was so much fun:)

Two of my favorite people

Cutie Pies!!

Can you tell we're sisters?! OH I love her so much!!!

Then onto Tulmeadow for ice cream

K thought he'd give pregnancy a try;)

The Hubs and I decided it would be fun to make a long vacation out of it and stay in New England a bit longer, so our next stop was Nantucket. Growing up in NE, I had been to Cape Cod a number of times and even Martha’s Vineyard but I had never been to Nantucket and since K was hoping to go somewhere neither of us had been, we bought our ferry tickets and hopped on board! If you’ve never been to Nantucket we highly recommend it, especially during Oct when the touristy season is coming to an end and the weather is crisp and sunny! We loved (almost) every part of our time there and to be fair the one part that we didn’t love wasn’t even technically in Nantucket...it was somewhere in the bay between Nantucket and Cape Cod - do you see where I’m going with this? Oh. My. Word! So I’ve always been prone to motion sickness but never in my life have I actually gotten “sick” (aka vommed). This has always served as consolation to me when I’m in a moving vehicle, breaking out in a sweat and feeling like I’m about to lose my last meal - I won’t...I just know that I won’t, because I never have and I never will, right? Well here’s the part where those of you with weak stomachs might want to go ahead and scroll down to the pretty pictures below (if you’re not already grossed out). There had been a Nor-eastern the night before we were leaving with really high winds and rain so let’s just say the waves were a tad unruly. We had planned on having a leisurely morning and taking the 12pm ferry but K thought it’d be a good idea to run down the street quickly and just check at the ticket counter to make sure they weren’t canceling any ferries due to the weather. I was getting ready for the day and enjoying my scones from our B&B when K came barging through the door, out of breath, and telling me how the next ferry is leaving in 7 minutes and they don’t think it’s coming back, as he frantically started throwing things in our suitcases. So I joined him and we were out the door in 5 minutes...giving us 2 minutes to run down Nantucket’s sweet cobblestone streets to catch the last ferry. I had my purse and rolling suitcase bumbling behind me and K was carrying a backpack, our camera bag, and an almost hockey-sized bag. I really wish we had pictures of this part of the experience! Given the five minutes that we had to throw our bags together and run down three stories out the door of our B&B, I didn’t really have time to stretch out the old shins and as I rounded a corner I turned back to K to tell him my shins were killing me and I’d have to stop running. But when I turned around and saw the sweat dripping (dare I say pouring) off his face and that body bag slung over his shoulders, running at full speed, I knew there was no way that I could stop now. Luckily we just barely made it onto the ferry and luckily for all of the other passengers we were able to find seats off by themselves (we were both a mess). So the boat took off and the front of the ferry would come up out of the water and then come crashing back down like it was a small fishing boat or something. I was literally holding on to the table in front of my seat and trying to keep it together but about 40 minutes into the trip I had to make a run for the bathroom. I’ll spare you the details but I will tell you that once we got off that beast and back to our car and my wise husband had given me enough time to see straight again, he said, “Have you seen your face?” I quickly pulled down the car mirror only to see that I had popped all the blood vessels on both sides of my face and down my neck!! “What? When did this happen?!” I asked him. He went on to tell me that it was like that when I came back from the bathroom but that he didn’t have the heart to tell me until I was feeling a little better (good call!). Anywho, we really did have a wonderful time in Nantucket but next time I might see if they have a small plane we can take!

 17 weeks!

 We took a 16-17mile bike ride around the island - probably one of our fav memories

A last look at Nantucket - Deceivingly calm-looking waters on our way back to Cape Cod

The final leg of our journey was to Boston to see my best friend of 15 years (oh my word I had no idea it’d been that long!) and her hubby. Kiki is preggo too and due just 7 weeks before me - I mean is that two BFF’s dream come true or what?! We used to have matching rainbow glasses and speak in a code that no one understood but us and while life has changed a lot since then we still seem to get each other in a way that very few do. Kiki has been a prayer warrior and constant cheerleader for me my whole life, I honestly just wish that every person could experience a friendship so deep and a feeling of being so known - I am forever grateful to the Lord! They are having a boy and while we still don’t know what we’re having yet I know that they’ll either be best friends or get married so really it’s a win-win!!

Love, love, love!

 Picking apples at an orchard

Eating apples at an orchard

 Miss them already!!

And So It Begins

So, I’ve always thought that when I become a mom I’d love to start a blog. I love how blogs can keep family and friends who live much too far away [*sad face] in the loop on the big extraordinary things going on and the little every day happenings as well. So, I’m really glad you’re here...and it’d be a bit of an understatement to say I’m REALLY glad we’re here!!! God is so very good.

So, here’s how we got here...

We began this journey of “trying” in late fall of 2009. We were so excited to hopefully become a family of three someday and went into it assuming it would take just a few months, as it seemed to be the case with most of the friends around us. We had planned it out perfectly, went on our big “Babymoon” to Europe and thought it was just a matter of time. Well, time came and went and month after month it seemed that our dream was not becoming a reality.

Fast forward to January 12 2010, when Haiti was hit with the terrible earthquake. My sweet husband’s heart broke as we heard the news of the devastation and he began looking for airplane tickets that day to fly down there to help the people in any way that he could. But as you might remember, all of the airlines cancelled their flights and he knew it would be a while before he could get down there. In the next few months he began planning and partnering with an organization called Jesus in Haiti and forming a team of sweet people who were also itching to get down there and help. So plans were made and a date was set to go down for a week in July...

...are you wondering what this has to do with our baby story yet? Stick with me, I promise it’s relevant:) 

I was so excited (not to mention proud!) of Kevin and his heart in taking the initiative to plan this trip but from the beginning we assumed it was safe to say I wouldn’t be going with him since SURELY I’d be pregnant by then. So the months continued to come and go and God taught us so much about joy in the midst of sadness and drew us close to Himself on the days when we didn’t understand why this wasn’t happening. 

A couple of months before the trip we thought, “Well, maybe we need to start thinking about me going too since I’m not pregnant yet and just trust God as we live our lives instead of just waiting.” I distinctly remember coming to a place early this summer where I just said, “Lord, if you want us to get pregnant we will - no matter what we do...and if you don’t want us to get pregnant than we won’t - no matter what we do. This is completely in your hands.” What an enormous weight that lifted off of my shoulders! I mean it’s so true - He is in control and has a much better plan for our lives than what we could ask for or imagine!!

So in July we went with a team of 8 others to Haiti and it was amazing. I cannot tell you how thankful I am that I was able to be a part of this trip. Kevin and I learned so much and absolutely fell in love with the people of Haiti. Kevin is already beginning to plan his next trip down there - what a blessing it was to get to experience that together. Here are a few pictures from our trip.

Kevin playing with kids at Jesus in Haiti's school for homeless children

Me playing with kids in a village

 The garbage dump where people live and survive off of the garbage  - JiH provides a meal for them every day and tells them about hope in Jesus

 Our sweet sweet team

Sweet family in front of their new home

So we got back from our trip as changed people who had learned so much (too much to try and write in this post so please ask us about it sometime!) and with hearts for the people that we said good-bye to in Haiti, praying for them daily. 

The next few days we spent trying to process our time there and readjust to America again. And after five days of being home, we found out I was pregnant. Could God have actually done this? Could He have blessed us in a way so beyond anything we could have asked for or imagined? In His infinite wisdom, God timed it so perfectly that I could go to Haiti (knowing how much it would change Kevin) and then get pregnant at the soonest possible time after that!

I’m fighting back tears as I write this and am reminded of what a sweet, personal God I serve. I have never in my life felt so humbled. We are so undeserving of this blessing but we are thankful...so very very thankful. And as this journey started only by the hands of God, we pray that we would keep this little one only in the hands of God.

I am 13 weeks along and due March 31st. Here are some fun pictures we’ve taken since we found out...

Woo to the hoo! 

Kevin made me take two just to be sure:)

6 weeks...not showing yet!

12 weeks - since I still wasn't showing too much we decided to take some pics with a lime...the size of the baby:)

I love our little lime.